Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Apology
I am a TERRIBLE blogger! I have great intentions and wonderful "thoughts" that have not made it to the land of "technology"! I MUST finish my "For Crying Out Loud" saga, and I promise to do so before 2014! ha! I never dreamed my already nutty, hectic, crazy, life would get even more INSANE since I first put "pen to paper" in cyberland over 2 months ago! However, I am going to stay strong and continue the blogging effort. The posts just may be VERY rare until after Christmas! Just wanted to let you know that I haven't given up!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
The past 4 weeks of have been INSANE! So, please excuse the month long hiatus! Probably the best way to give you a complete picture of what has taken place is to detail the events in more of a "time line/outline" fashion rather than paragraph form. Because these events have happened over a month's span, I will break this "documentation" into 2 parts. So, without futher ado, I present to you Part 1 of "For Crying Out Loud!"
WARNING: Content is not for the weak-stomach. So you can better understand (maybe) my thoughts and actions, I will attempt to paint a very vivid picture of the events that actually took place and how I felt about them at the time. Remember, I am telling the cold, hard, gross details of my "story" and letting you get a full view of this real, imPERFECT, "Pastor's" Wife!
Friday, September 13th: I was asked to substitute for the first time at the elementary school where my 2 oldest children attend. (I just signed up to sub this year) It was a good day seeing as how it was only a half day! After school, I loaded up my 3 kiddos, and we headed north about 2 hours to visit my grandmother who is in the nursing home suffering from dementia/alzheimer's disease....whichever disease you want to call it.....both BRUTAL to watch a loved one suffer through. September 13, 2013 was my Granny's 81st birthday. She is and will always be "MY Granny," and I will write a post about her soon. There are things worse than death, and this wretched disease is one of them! Sorry...off on a rabbit trail....back on course.
Just after I had gotten my children in bed at my parent's home, around 9:00 p.m. that night, my mother-in-law called to say that her mother-in-law, my husband's grandmother, OUR Mommaw had possibly had a terrible stroke, and she was on the way to the ER in Meridian, MS. Devastating news! Mommaw?!?! Wait, something is terribly wrong here!!! She is/was healthy! She had been making sugar cookies and pimento cheese sandwhiches all day for her grandaughter's open house! She was at water aerobics on Thursday!!! This can't be happening!!! Lord, we've been begging for your mercy for Granny!! She's ready to go! Why Mommaw??!! Then, at midnight the news came that she was going quickly and that we should probably go see her if we wanted to see her alive again, although she was already unconscious. So, my brother-in-law, who happend to be visiting his in-laws in a nearby town, and I drove to Meridian, MS, to say our final "good-byes". My husband was able to meet us there, too. It was an early morning filled with heartache and much grieving. We were all exhausted emotionally and physically. My brother-in-law and I left the hospital around 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, September 19th, and that was the last time I was able to see Mommaw's earthly body.
Sunday, September 15th: The children and I drove from my parent's home to arrive at our church by 11:00 a.m. for our morning worship service so that we could rejoice in the baptism of 2 very dear friends. My husband preached that morning, and then went back to Mississippi to be with his grandmother. My mom drove to my house to spend the night so that she could attend Grandparent's day with my 2 big kids at school the next day.
Monday, September 16th: We attended Grandparent's Day, and then my mom went with me to my in-laws home to help me get funeral clothes for them. They live about 30 minutes from my house. On the way back home, the school nurse called me, and my oldest son Garrett was covered in a rash from head to toe. He was having a severe allergic reaction to the outside world! He had played in the mud and grass on Sunday afternoon with some friends. So, I spent my afternoon at the allergist office trying to get him "straightened out." My mother had to go home, but thankfully, a friend was able to help keep my other 2 children so I didn't have to "wrangle" them in the doctor's office! Garrett had to miss his first fall baseball game that night, and he was disappointed.
Tuesday, September 17th: I'm exhausted from the weekend and Monday with Garrett and being a single mom! So, my van starts making a weird noise! My husband is still out of town, and at this point, I'm thinking I'm going to have to travel 4 hours with 3 kids alone to a funeral. So, I have my 1st break-down, emotionally! I call my husband crying, and we get in a "little" fight over the phone. He's exhausted, I'm exhausted, he's stressed, I'm stressed, his grandmother is dying, I'm wanting to grieve the loss of her, but I give up being able to at this point because I'm handling the house and children. Not a good combination, to say the least!!!! We both say hurtful things that we don't mean. I'm angry, not necessarily at him, but just at the whole picture. Again, this SHOULD NOT be Mommaw!!!! This should be Granny! We finally are able to communicate like adults. I'll admit I'm the one who was acting more childish. I apologized, and so did he. I was able to get someone to take me to drop the van off for repair, and my husband decided to come on home because it was looking like Mommaw might linger a few more days. So, he was able to help Tuesday afternoon. Thankfully, after all of the hassle, the repair shop was not able to find anything wrong with the van. Of course, it wouldn't act up for my husband either. And, so far, it hasn't messed up again. I'm not sure why all that happened, but if it was a test of my attitude under stress and pressure, I failed miserably!
Wednesday, September 18th: Mommaw entered the presence of our LORD, and she began worshipping at His feet. She was a Mighty Woman of God, and she too will have a post dedicated to her memory and legacy soon.
Thursday, September 19th: We traveled to Mississippi to have some time with family before the funeral.
Saturday, September 21st: Funeral Day. Our middle child, Hannah, woke up vomiting at 5:00 a.m. She threw up every 20 minutes for two and half hours. My parents drove to Mississippi to stay with her so I could attend the funeral. I was unable to attend any of the visitation prior to the funeral. The casket was closed after the family had their time before the visitation began per Mommaw's request...which I like. However, the last picture I have of Mommaw was of her in the hospital bed, after suffering a stroke. Yes, there are wonderful pictures of her, and I have those memories of her and will forever. But, I do wish I had gotten to see her one last time in her "funeral dress".....not dying in the hospital bed. I know that the body in the casket is just that - a body - a shell - that our Mommaw was/is acutally in heaven. But, I do think there's something about seeing a person "one last time" that gives closure. I still haven't had "the big one" over the loss of Mommaw. I haven't had time to have an ugly, emotional breakdown over her loss alone. My life "drama" hasn't allowed it. I've had several breakdowns over the course of the past few weeks, but they have had to be shared with other crises going on at the moment!
Sunday, September 22nd: Our oldest child was supposed to be baptized, and we were supposed to finally celebrate baby boy's 2nd birthday. However, we postponed the baptism because my husband was not going to be preaching since he had been out with Mommaw's funeral. We cancelled the party because Hannah had been sick, and we didn't want to expose the world.
Monday, September 23rd: That morning, I rescheduled the birthday party for Tuesday evening. By the afternoon, "baby" boy was vomiting - for about 4 hours. Cancelled birthday party.
Tuesday, September 24th: Since everyone was "better", we got pizza and had birthday cake for "baby" boy since I had already paid for a cake that was going to ruin.....only with our immediate family. By Tuesday afternoon, 4 more of my husband's extended family had the stomach virus, so we didn't want to risk passing on this soon-to-be labeled "curse"!
Wednesday, September 25th: I go down with a VENGENACE after lunch.....the most horrific, brutal experience of life!!!! Five hours on hugging the trash can and lighting up the porcelain! I was praying for the rapture or death! Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, and traveling to the ER was absolutely out of the question because I couldn't stay off of the throne long enough to make the 30 minute car ride!!!!
Thursday, September 26th: 7:00 a.m. Hannah "Bean" (her nickname) starts vomiting again at breakfast! I begin frantically cleaning....bleach, hospital grade germicide, lysol, more bleach, germ-x, washing EVERY stitch of bedding, clothing, stuffed animal on HOT, more bleach, burning lungs and eyes from bleach, cracked/bleeding hands, so weak I can barely stand, but I HAD to take care of my sick child, wrangle a 2 year old, and CLEAN!!! My hubby was able to handle Wednesday night, but he had obligations that couldn't be postponed on Thursday, so it was ALL me! By 1:00 p.m. I thought I was going to pass out. I was able to rest until the craziness of our after school routine began!
Friday, September 27th: Hannah goes back to school, and I go with her for a walking field trip from the elementary school to a locally owned farmer's market - quite famous in South Alabama! Let's just say I was wiped out by the time we made it back to school. Herding 60 Kindergartners is like herding cats! I was still weak but on the mend.
Okay, this is getting quite lengthy. Two weeks is enough for now! I will take a break, and let you process this. I know it's "ugly" and blunt, but just wait, it get's better!
WARNING: Content is not for the weak-stomach. So you can better understand (maybe) my thoughts and actions, I will attempt to paint a very vivid picture of the events that actually took place and how I felt about them at the time. Remember, I am telling the cold, hard, gross details of my "story" and letting you get a full view of this real, imPERFECT, "Pastor's" Wife!
Friday, September 13th: I was asked to substitute for the first time at the elementary school where my 2 oldest children attend. (I just signed up to sub this year) It was a good day seeing as how it was only a half day! After school, I loaded up my 3 kiddos, and we headed north about 2 hours to visit my grandmother who is in the nursing home suffering from dementia/alzheimer's disease....whichever disease you want to call it.....both BRUTAL to watch a loved one suffer through. September 13, 2013 was my Granny's 81st birthday. She is and will always be "MY Granny," and I will write a post about her soon. There are things worse than death, and this wretched disease is one of them! Sorry...off on a rabbit trail....back on course.
Just after I had gotten my children in bed at my parent's home, around 9:00 p.m. that night, my mother-in-law called to say that her mother-in-law, my husband's grandmother, OUR Mommaw had possibly had a terrible stroke, and she was on the way to the ER in Meridian, MS. Devastating news! Mommaw?!?! Wait, something is terribly wrong here!!! She is/was healthy! She had been making sugar cookies and pimento cheese sandwhiches all day for her grandaughter's open house! She was at water aerobics on Thursday!!! This can't be happening!!! Lord, we've been begging for your mercy for Granny!! She's ready to go! Why Mommaw??!! Then, at midnight the news came that she was going quickly and that we should probably go see her if we wanted to see her alive again, although she was already unconscious. So, my brother-in-law, who happend to be visiting his in-laws in a nearby town, and I drove to Meridian, MS, to say our final "good-byes". My husband was able to meet us there, too. It was an early morning filled with heartache and much grieving. We were all exhausted emotionally and physically. My brother-in-law and I left the hospital around 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, September 19th, and that was the last time I was able to see Mommaw's earthly body.
Sunday, September 15th: The children and I drove from my parent's home to arrive at our church by 11:00 a.m. for our morning worship service so that we could rejoice in the baptism of 2 very dear friends. My husband preached that morning, and then went back to Mississippi to be with his grandmother. My mom drove to my house to spend the night so that she could attend Grandparent's day with my 2 big kids at school the next day.
Monday, September 16th: We attended Grandparent's Day, and then my mom went with me to my in-laws home to help me get funeral clothes for them. They live about 30 minutes from my house. On the way back home, the school nurse called me, and my oldest son Garrett was covered in a rash from head to toe. He was having a severe allergic reaction to the outside world! He had played in the mud and grass on Sunday afternoon with some friends. So, I spent my afternoon at the allergist office trying to get him "straightened out." My mother had to go home, but thankfully, a friend was able to help keep my other 2 children so I didn't have to "wrangle" them in the doctor's office! Garrett had to miss his first fall baseball game that night, and he was disappointed.
Tuesday, September 17th: I'm exhausted from the weekend and Monday with Garrett and being a single mom! So, my van starts making a weird noise! My husband is still out of town, and at this point, I'm thinking I'm going to have to travel 4 hours with 3 kids alone to a funeral. So, I have my 1st break-down, emotionally! I call my husband crying, and we get in a "little" fight over the phone. He's exhausted, I'm exhausted, he's stressed, I'm stressed, his grandmother is dying, I'm wanting to grieve the loss of her, but I give up being able to at this point because I'm handling the house and children. Not a good combination, to say the least!!!! We both say hurtful things that we don't mean. I'm angry, not necessarily at him, but just at the whole picture. Again, this SHOULD NOT be Mommaw!!!! This should be Granny! We finally are able to communicate like adults. I'll admit I'm the one who was acting more childish. I apologized, and so did he. I was able to get someone to take me to drop the van off for repair, and my husband decided to come on home because it was looking like Mommaw might linger a few more days. So, he was able to help Tuesday afternoon. Thankfully, after all of the hassle, the repair shop was not able to find anything wrong with the van. Of course, it wouldn't act up for my husband either. And, so far, it hasn't messed up again. I'm not sure why all that happened, but if it was a test of my attitude under stress and pressure, I failed miserably!
Wednesday, September 18th: Mommaw entered the presence of our LORD, and she began worshipping at His feet. She was a Mighty Woman of God, and she too will have a post dedicated to her memory and legacy soon.
Thursday, September 19th: We traveled to Mississippi to have some time with family before the funeral.
Saturday, September 21st: Funeral Day. Our middle child, Hannah, woke up vomiting at 5:00 a.m. She threw up every 20 minutes for two and half hours. My parents drove to Mississippi to stay with her so I could attend the funeral. I was unable to attend any of the visitation prior to the funeral. The casket was closed after the family had their time before the visitation began per Mommaw's request...which I like. However, the last picture I have of Mommaw was of her in the hospital bed, after suffering a stroke. Yes, there are wonderful pictures of her, and I have those memories of her and will forever. But, I do wish I had gotten to see her one last time in her "funeral dress".....not dying in the hospital bed. I know that the body in the casket is just that - a body - a shell - that our Mommaw was/is acutally in heaven. But, I do think there's something about seeing a person "one last time" that gives closure. I still haven't had "the big one" over the loss of Mommaw. I haven't had time to have an ugly, emotional breakdown over her loss alone. My life "drama" hasn't allowed it. I've had several breakdowns over the course of the past few weeks, but they have had to be shared with other crises going on at the moment!
Sunday, September 22nd: Our oldest child was supposed to be baptized, and we were supposed to finally celebrate baby boy's 2nd birthday. However, we postponed the baptism because my husband was not going to be preaching since he had been out with Mommaw's funeral. We cancelled the party because Hannah had been sick, and we didn't want to expose the world.
Monday, September 23rd: That morning, I rescheduled the birthday party for Tuesday evening. By the afternoon, "baby" boy was vomiting - for about 4 hours. Cancelled birthday party.
Tuesday, September 24th: Since everyone was "better", we got pizza and had birthday cake for "baby" boy since I had already paid for a cake that was going to ruin.....only with our immediate family. By Tuesday afternoon, 4 more of my husband's extended family had the stomach virus, so we didn't want to risk passing on this soon-to-be labeled "curse"!
Wednesday, September 25th: I go down with a VENGENACE after lunch.....the most horrific, brutal experience of life!!!! Five hours on hugging the trash can and lighting up the porcelain! I was praying for the rapture or death! Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, and traveling to the ER was absolutely out of the question because I couldn't stay off of the throne long enough to make the 30 minute car ride!!!!
Thursday, September 26th: 7:00 a.m. Hannah "Bean" (her nickname) starts vomiting again at breakfast! I begin frantically cleaning....bleach, hospital grade germicide, lysol, more bleach, germ-x, washing EVERY stitch of bedding, clothing, stuffed animal on HOT, more bleach, burning lungs and eyes from bleach, cracked/bleeding hands, so weak I can barely stand, but I HAD to take care of my sick child, wrangle a 2 year old, and CLEAN!!! My hubby was able to handle Wednesday night, but he had obligations that couldn't be postponed on Thursday, so it was ALL me! By 1:00 p.m. I thought I was going to pass out. I was able to rest until the craziness of our after school routine began!
Friday, September 27th: Hannah goes back to school, and I go with her for a walking field trip from the elementary school to a locally owned farmer's market - quite famous in South Alabama! Let's just say I was wiped out by the time we made it back to school. Herding 60 Kindergartners is like herding cats! I was still weak but on the mend.
Okay, this is getting quite lengthy. Two weeks is enough for now! I will take a break, and let you process this. I know it's "ugly" and blunt, but just wait, it get's better!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Thoughts on Turning 2
Excuse the "rambling"....this was written late last night!
It's HARD to turn 2 years old!!! Our "baby" turned 2 yesterday, and he spent most of today crying! He had a special day yesterday, but today the "terrible" part of the "terrible 2s" was a reality! He did not like that I needed to go to the church and work for about an hour and half on our church's Children's Ministry program this morning. Then, he was over-tired and didn't want to eat lunch, and so he cried and refused to eat. Therefore, I put him to bed....what he wanted...."I go night night now peez!" He kept complaining of a "bug in my ear" (which my family is "blessed" with ear, nose, and throat "drama"....between my 3 children, we've had 5 sets of tubes and baby boy was 7 months old when he received his!) and wouldn't go to sleep. He screamed his head off. I rocked, sang, read and gave motrin, and he finally went to sleep! Thankfully, my husband's schedule allowed him to come home and work while I ran our oldest two to the dentist. Then, the afternoon "craziness" began when we arrived home with fall baseball practice, homework, supper to cook, baths, bedtime routine, dirty dishes, laundry, etc....You get the point! However, Mr. Boy cried for about 2 of those hours until we were finally able to get him in bed at 8:15! One of our oldest son's vocabulary words this week is "tranquil." He rightly made the sentence, "It's only tranquil in our house when everyone is asleep!" SO VERY TRUE! (Side note: I was able to get his ears checked, and he doesn't have an ear infection....he's cutting his last 2 year molar, and I think it's causing residual pain in his ears).
All the children are now asleep. There are piles of unfolded clothes on my couch. My hubby is still working/preparing for a class he's teaching, and instead of going to bed (and still ignoring the laundry), I'm sitting at the computer typing, too! Very wise use of my time! The point of my post is that I survived the hectic day and really my feathers only got ruffled when I was almost late to the dentist appointment.....not because my 2 year old screamed all day or pitched a fit or almost turned his chair over backward (he's in a booster seat in our dining room chair) at the dinner table. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me! When our oldest was 2, I stressed about EVERY little thing. (If you read my "About Me" section you saw that I'm a Type A PERFECTionist, so "stressing" is what I do best! ha!) Mind you, oldest Mr. Boy started his "fits" around 20 months old! And, everything was magnified with the fact that I was very sick from pregnancy with our daughter. We had just moved to our current location, and I was so stressed about making a good impression, stressed about making sure that oldest Mr. Boy wasn't labeled a typical "Preacher's Kids," (and he's red-headed to add to the "attitude"!), stressed about what people thought of my parenting/lack of parenting "skills", and just stressed in general that it's an absolute wonder that oldest Mr. Boy seems to be a normal, healthy functioning 7 year old and not on medication for ulcers and OCD!!! Looking back, I know that there were many times that I "over-disciplined" if you will because I simply forgot that oldest Mr. Boy was 2 years old and not 20 or 12!! Yes, it's vital to discipline and to correct and yes even to SPANK....I said it and yes, we spank....on the bottom....done in love and not anger.....but it's also vital to remember that God created these beautiful little people and gave them their "spirited" personalities. I love James Dobson's book The Strong Willed Child because it deals with "molding/shaping" the will rather than "breaking" the will. And, believe me, I have 3 strong willed children! Passive is NOT in our vocabulary in this house! ha!
I know I've got a long way to go with this parenting thing! ha! Many of you seasoned moms are probably thinking "Oh My, this poor girl....little does she know! Wait until preteen/teenage years arrive!" Yes, I know we have many more seasons of parenting to look forward to, but I also know that as believers our roles are to model Christ, teach Christ, be teachable from Christ's truths through His word, and pray for wisdom, seek to be consistent, loving, and firm in molding/shaping our children, and most importantly instilling Biblical truths in their little hearts about who God is and why He loves us and why He gave them to us to shepherd/parent for a "season" and why His heart "hurts" when they disobey and act ugly and throw fits and why His heart "hurts" when I as their mommy disobey Him, act ugly toward my family, and throw fits as well. I've found it's so easy to discipline my children and get so frustrated. I often find myself saying "if it's not immediate it's disobedient" and getting upset over the lack of immediate obedience, and then God gently whisphers in my ear.....are you immediate in your obedience to me? How often do I as your Heavnly Father have to repeat truths over and over and over? How often do I show you grace and mercy? Yes, there are consequences to disobedience, and children must learn that and know that. However, we as parents need to be reminded of that truth as well....or I know I do!
So, as I wrap up this 2nd long post in a row, I'm praying for continued wisdom in parenting, especially as I embark on this season of "terrible 2s" with my little man! May I shower him with love, grace, mercy, firmness when needed, correction/discipline, and a swat with "Mr. Pop" when it's out of control!
Side note from today, Tuesday, September 10: I stopped by Lifeway this morning on my way home from another appointment and purchased the book Shepherding A Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I've heard great things about the book and have had several people ask me if I've read it, and my sister-in-law is helping co-lead it at her church. So, I thought it was time for me to read it! And just let me say, there are TONS of books on parenting as you all probably know. While standing in Lifeway taking some time to glance through several others I had not read, the thought struck me...."What did people do before all of these 'guides' to parenting were written? How did any person turn out to be a "normal," godly man or woman without his/her parents reading these books/thoughts/wisdom/"how to" on parenting? The answer: By being a student of The Bible! I know.... "Sunday School" answer! ha! But, it's true! Now don't get me wrong, I believe that books and studies are great resources to use and that there is much wisdom to be gained and learned from wonderful, godly men and women who have walked the parenting path and raised great men and women of God. It's Biblical ---mentoring. However, we have to glean truths that are Biblical and remember that the only "PERFECT" way to parent is in the center of the will of God! And, that my friends, is a daily, step by step, moment by moment, "give it all to the Lord" process!
It's HARD to turn 2 years old!!! Our "baby" turned 2 yesterday, and he spent most of today crying! He had a special day yesterday, but today the "terrible" part of the "terrible 2s" was a reality! He did not like that I needed to go to the church and work for about an hour and half on our church's Children's Ministry program this morning. Then, he was over-tired and didn't want to eat lunch, and so he cried and refused to eat. Therefore, I put him to bed....what he wanted...."I go night night now peez!" He kept complaining of a "bug in my ear" (which my family is "blessed" with ear, nose, and throat "drama"....between my 3 children, we've had 5 sets of tubes and baby boy was 7 months old when he received his!) and wouldn't go to sleep. He screamed his head off. I rocked, sang, read and gave motrin, and he finally went to sleep! Thankfully, my husband's schedule allowed him to come home and work while I ran our oldest two to the dentist. Then, the afternoon "craziness" began when we arrived home with fall baseball practice, homework, supper to cook, baths, bedtime routine, dirty dishes, laundry, etc....You get the point! However, Mr. Boy cried for about 2 of those hours until we were finally able to get him in bed at 8:15! One of our oldest son's vocabulary words this week is "tranquil." He rightly made the sentence, "It's only tranquil in our house when everyone is asleep!" SO VERY TRUE! (Side note: I was able to get his ears checked, and he doesn't have an ear infection....he's cutting his last 2 year molar, and I think it's causing residual pain in his ears).
All the children are now asleep. There are piles of unfolded clothes on my couch. My hubby is still working/preparing for a class he's teaching, and instead of going to bed (and still ignoring the laundry), I'm sitting at the computer typing, too! Very wise use of my time! The point of my post is that I survived the hectic day and really my feathers only got ruffled when I was almost late to the dentist appointment.....not because my 2 year old screamed all day or pitched a fit or almost turned his chair over backward (he's in a booster seat in our dining room chair) at the dinner table. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me! When our oldest was 2, I stressed about EVERY little thing. (If you read my "About Me" section you saw that I'm a Type A PERFECTionist, so "stressing" is what I do best! ha!) Mind you, oldest Mr. Boy started his "fits" around 20 months old! And, everything was magnified with the fact that I was very sick from pregnancy with our daughter. We had just moved to our current location, and I was so stressed about making a good impression, stressed about making sure that oldest Mr. Boy wasn't labeled a typical "Preacher's Kids," (and he's red-headed to add to the "attitude"!), stressed about what people thought of my parenting/lack of parenting "skills", and just stressed in general that it's an absolute wonder that oldest Mr. Boy seems to be a normal, healthy functioning 7 year old and not on medication for ulcers and OCD!!! Looking back, I know that there were many times that I "over-disciplined" if you will because I simply forgot that oldest Mr. Boy was 2 years old and not 20 or 12!! Yes, it's vital to discipline and to correct and yes even to SPANK....I said it and yes, we spank....on the bottom....done in love and not anger.....but it's also vital to remember that God created these beautiful little people and gave them their "spirited" personalities. I love James Dobson's book The Strong Willed Child because it deals with "molding/shaping" the will rather than "breaking" the will. And, believe me, I have 3 strong willed children! Passive is NOT in our vocabulary in this house! ha!
I know I've got a long way to go with this parenting thing! ha! Many of you seasoned moms are probably thinking "Oh My, this poor girl....little does she know! Wait until preteen/teenage years arrive!" Yes, I know we have many more seasons of parenting to look forward to, but I also know that as believers our roles are to model Christ, teach Christ, be teachable from Christ's truths through His word, and pray for wisdom, seek to be consistent, loving, and firm in molding/shaping our children, and most importantly instilling Biblical truths in their little hearts about who God is and why He loves us and why He gave them to us to shepherd/parent for a "season" and why His heart "hurts" when they disobey and act ugly and throw fits and why His heart "hurts" when I as their mommy disobey Him, act ugly toward my family, and throw fits as well. I've found it's so easy to discipline my children and get so frustrated. I often find myself saying "if it's not immediate it's disobedient" and getting upset over the lack of immediate obedience, and then God gently whisphers in my ear.....are you immediate in your obedience to me? How often do I as your Heavnly Father have to repeat truths over and over and over? How often do I show you grace and mercy? Yes, there are consequences to disobedience, and children must learn that and know that. However, we as parents need to be reminded of that truth as well....or I know I do!
So, as I wrap up this 2nd long post in a row, I'm praying for continued wisdom in parenting, especially as I embark on this season of "terrible 2s" with my little man! May I shower him with love, grace, mercy, firmness when needed, correction/discipline, and a swat with "Mr. Pop" when it's out of control!
Side note from today, Tuesday, September 10: I stopped by Lifeway this morning on my way home from another appointment and purchased the book Shepherding A Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I've heard great things about the book and have had several people ask me if I've read it, and my sister-in-law is helping co-lead it at her church. So, I thought it was time for me to read it! And just let me say, there are TONS of books on parenting as you all probably know. While standing in Lifeway taking some time to glance through several others I had not read, the thought struck me...."What did people do before all of these 'guides' to parenting were written? How did any person turn out to be a "normal," godly man or woman without his/her parents reading these books/thoughts/wisdom/"how to" on parenting? The answer: By being a student of The Bible! I know.... "Sunday School" answer! ha! But, it's true! Now don't get me wrong, I believe that books and studies are great resources to use and that there is much wisdom to be gained and learned from wonderful, godly men and women who have walked the parenting path and raised great men and women of God. It's Biblical ---mentoring. However, we have to glean truths that are Biblical and remember that the only "PERFECT" way to parent is in the center of the will of God! And, that my friends, is a daily, step by step, moment by moment, "give it all to the Lord" process!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Most Likely to "Not" Succeed
Okay, this one is "kinda" long! I actually started thinking about blogging/writing about 3 years ago. In fact, I sat down to begin toying with writing in May of 2010. That same day, my husband began a 3 week long "adventure" with kidney stones, and I never returned to my "adventure" of writing. The following are my thoughts from January 24, 2013. I was in the middle of a "moment" of not feeling adequate, and so I sat down to "pen" my thoughts. It just so happend to turn into a 4 page, double space "paper"! ha! So, you may need more than a "minute" to read this!
Most Likely to “Not” Succeed
What a title….right?...especially considering I was the Valedictorian of my high school graduating class, and I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in my graduating class’s list of “Who’s Who.” But, I feel that a more adequate “Who’s Who” title for me would be “Most Likely to ‘Not’ Succeed”, at least according to the world’s standards. Why do I feel this way? Well, as my pastor husband says, “I’m glad you asked!”
To begin with, I am currently sitting at my computer in my home, which is in desperate need to be cleaned from top to bottom and de-cluttered! My house is a complete disaster!!! And, there’s really no reason in the “world’s eyes” it should be this way because I am one of the “privileged stay-at-home moms” who goes to the gym every morning while a nanny prepares breakfast for my 3 children and gets them off to school. Then, a housekeeper arrives and cleans and straightens my house from top to bottom on a daily basis, while I shop and have lunch with friends. I arrive home just in time to get in the car line to pick my children up from school and to assist with homework while dinner simmers on the stove (which my housekeeper prepared), Now, don’t I wish!! Ha! This is the furthest thing from reality!!!
Each day is a whirlwind from the time the alarm clock begins buzzing (at least 20 minutes before I actually “have” to get up so I can hit “snooze” a couple of times) until my head hits the pillow at night, which is usually around midnight! God has richly blessed my husband and me with three wonderful children – 6 year old son (1st grader), 4 year old daughter, and a 16 month old son. My husband is a pastor of a “smaller” congregation, and therefore, the money does not “overflow-eth.” However, God has met our every need, and He continues to do so faithfully. So, no, I absolutely do not go to the gym…can’t say that I would even if we could afford it….I do NOT have a nanny or a housekeeper!!! I have a four year degree from a wonderful university as well as some hours toward two different master’s degrees all to say that I am the following: A wife, a mother, a daughter, a cook, a nurse, a housekeeper, a counselor, a referee, a taxi service, a “room-mom”, a laundry service, a servant at church, and the list goes on and on.
So, as you can see, in the “world’s eyes” these tasks seem menial and don’t seem to belong to someone who was voted “Most Likely to Succeed.” So, the question remains, do I think I am successful? Honestly, that question has been a struggle for me lately, especially as my husband and I have struggled financially….it seems that the solution would be for me to “go to work”…..a.k.a. work outside the home. However, if I did, I would miss out on those little moments that make my job the most wonderful in the world, such as cleaning up a baby covered in diarrhea from head to toe, stepping in a puddle of fresh spit up, reading and cuddling with a sick baby, having my four year old daughter “do” my make-up, hair, and finger nails, playing ninja with my “big” boy, jumping on the trampoline and playing baseball instead of cleaning house, packing lunches each morning, attending field trips, and the list goes on an on.
I am currently reading Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, and I came across a quote in her book that brought tears to my eyes because it describes perfectly how I feel. She states, “By God’s grace, even in the hard moments, I knew that the job of being a mother was what God had created my heart for” (Davis, 63). Wow! That describes me to a “T”! From a very young little girl, I knew that all I wanted to be “when I grew up” was a mommy. I carried my homemade Cabbage Patch dolls around with me everywhere, and my mom gave me a couple of my little sister’s disposable diapers to put on her….which I recycled over and over. Disposable diapers had just come out and were such a treasure to have, so mom rightfully encouraged me to “wash” and reuse them! I remember a special trip to the dollar store to purchase one of my babies a new bottle, which I have to this day, and my daughter now uses for her babies!
I had a difficult time deciding on a major for college, and I never worked in the field in the one I did pursue because I always new that I always wanted to be “just a mom.” I told my husband (who I dated throughout high school and college) repeatedly that I never wanted to work outside the home once we had children. So, we tried to prepare the best we could for that, even knowing that he was going into the pastorate. I taught school before our first child was born, and after his arrival I stayed home with him until he was 6 months old. At that point, my husband and I decided that the best choice financially was for me to go back to work part time so that we could continue buying groceries and diapers! I have nursed all 3 of our babies for a year, so at least we have saved money on formula! The Lord graciously provided a teaching position at a Technical College where I had a wonderful working environment and flexible hours. It truly was a blessing.
I worked there a little over a year, and then the Lord moved us to our current city where my husband is the head shepherd of our church. Shortly after moving, 3 weeks later to be exact, I found out that I was expecting our precious baby girl. And, so the past 5 years of our lives began in a whirlwind of adjusting to a new home/pastorate and severe morning sickness with a 20 month old going through early “terrible twos”! We have made it through trials—spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, and we are stronger for it. I never went to work outside of the home once arriving in our current location. However, it hasn’t been easy, and I do question my sanity often and if we are doing the “right thing,” especially from a financial standpoint. But, I wouldn’t trade the memories and the opportunities I’ve had to invest in my children for this season of their lives. I fail daily. I lose my patience, I get frustrated, I yell at my children for no reason, I doubt, I worry, I cry, I struggle with the feeling of inadequacy…..I’m human….I know that Satan is the author of those feelings…..but I also know that I’m Redeemed by the Blood of THE LAMB! I know that as long as I strive to live my life for HIS glory, then yes I am successful….if my children see Christ in me daily (even when I “mess up”), then yes I am successful….if I can show unconditional love and grace and mercy to others, then yes, I am successful….and if I know I can only do these things through Christ, then yes, I am successful!
So, my prayer is that I can continue to remember that I am a daughter of the King of Kings, and my value and self-worth and “success” is only found in Him. I realize that for many women staying at home with your children is not an option financially, and so I pray that this is not offensive to you. This is just an out-pouring of my heart and my struggles as a daughter of Christ. I hope that this will encourage other stay-at-home moms who choose to make sacrifices, especially financially, to realize that it is truly worth it and that we are truly successful, even if it doesn’t appear that way in the “world’s eyes.”
Why a Blog?
Our lives are flying by with each "tick" of the clock. I read others' blogs on occassion and wish that I was documenting our lives better. We are also a ministry family who has experienced much in our 9 years of full-time ministry, and I want to "journal" ministry experiences, thoughts on "pastoral" parenting, and more importantly the fact that WE ARE REAL!!!! I think for many couples and individuals embarking on a life of ministry there is a misconstrued belief that ministry families must portray a "perfect," "put-together," "we got this," image at ALL times. However, we are NOT like that....hence the blog name "imPERFECT." We are a REAL family living in the reality that a life of full-time ministry is hard....often paralyzing us with exhaustion and defeat..... but we find strength and comfort knowing that we are surrounded by the love of Christ and made PERFECT only by HIS blood. We fail daily, often moment by moment, but when our Sovereign Lord looks at me, He sees PERFECTION. So, even now with my misuse of pronouns - switching from first-person to third and back to second, you will see that this blog is going to be REAL and full of imPERFECTion!
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